The secret to managing overwhelming responsibilities isn't about working harder - it's about working differently.
Recently, I was coaching a leader who felt overwhelmed. He said, “I know what to do, you eat an elephant one bite at a time. I guess I just need to get started.”¹
My trip to Uganda with my daughter in 2018
While there is truth to that statement, I didn’t think it applied to this leader. I knew his life, the challenges he was facing, and the responsibilities he was already managing. Instead of affirming his statement, I asked,
That’s true, but what if you are already full?
Or consider the Big Rocks theory. Popularized by Stephen Covey, priority is given to the “big rocks” or the most significant tasks, followed by smaller, less important activities. In the well-known object lesson, the big rocks (major priorities like health, family, relationships) only fit in the jar if placed first, before the pebbles (smaller yet important tasks), sand (minor tasks that are urgent but not important), and water (distractions that can consume time but don’t add value).²
It’s a great object lesson, and often true, but…
What if the jar isn’t big enough to hold all the big rocks?
When our plate is already full or the big rocks don’t fit in the jar of our lives (that’s called overwhelm), we have three choices:
Keep pushing until burnout
Eliminate
Find an easier way
#2 is straightforward but not always easy. Start here and eliminate the unessential. Not everything is important. As John Maxwell once wrote, “You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.”³
#3 requires a little more explanation.
What If This Could Be Easy?
In his 2021 best seller (Effortless), author Greg McKeown introduces the principle of inversion. To invert means to turn an assumption or approach upside down, work backward, and ask, “What if the opposite were true?” When there are too many big rocks, effortless inversion means asking, “What if this could be easy?”⁴
It’s a way to reset our thinking.
One of the best ways to make things easier is to simplify. It reminds me of an Aldous Huxley quote, “It’s dark because you’re trying too hard. Lightly, child, lightly.” McKeown noticed when he failed, it wasn’t because he hadn’t tried hard enough, it was because he was trying too hard. “Trying too hard,” he says, “Makes it harder to get the results you want.”
Have you noticed the same thing in your life? I have. That’s why I’ve simplified my work down to three things:
Abide - keeping my faith and personal relationship with God at the center
Relate - spend time relating and adding value to people (calls, texts, coffee, lunch, etc). This is how I’m wired and what drives business for me.
Create - where I add the most value to people, am energized, and where my highest fulfillment comes from.
These three things are a part of who I am, and when I operate from who I am, life is better.
A few months ago, business was slow and finances were tight. But since then, these three things have come into focus, and I’ve put them into practice. Our financial situation has drastically improved—not because I’ve worked harder, but because I’ve simplified things and stopped trying too hard.
From Overwhelm to Ease, Your Next Steps
In the next 24-48 hours, grab your journal or a piece of paper, go somewhere you can think, choose one of these questions, and spend 10-15 minutes thinking and writing about it.
Reflection Questions:
What area of your life feels most overwhelming right now? How might you make it easier rather than trying harder?
Which of your "big rocks" could be approached differently to reduce complexity?
What would your three core principles be if you simplified everything down to the essentials?
I'll unpack those three things more over the next few weeks leading up to the holidays and the end of the year.
Until next time,
PS - Effective writing takes time and margin. Leave me a tip so I can keep on creating!
Sources
1 - The phrase dates back to 1970 when United States Army officer Creighton Abrams said, “He used it as a metaphor for military strategy, emphasizing the importance of breaking down complex operations into achievable objectives.”
2 - Watch Covey’s classic “Big Rocks” video here.
3 - John Maxwell, Developing the Leader Within You