A weekly to help high achievers (a.k.a over achievers) reach their potential and make a difference.
Failed dreams can become your greatest victories.
While dreams are essential for hope and growth, unfulfilled dreams can breed disillusionment. Yet what appears to be a "failed" dream often reveals itself as an opportunity. Barbara Corcoran, the renowned Shark Tank Investor, once said,
“All my best successes came on the heels of failure.”
This wisdom challenges us to look deeper at how dreams actually work.
The Truth About Dreams
It is an assumed misconception that imagination (or dreams) tend to fade with age. But the truth is that children are less developed than adults at imagining. Given the choice between a fictional story and a fantasy story, children prefer the factual one and tend to simulate real-world activities and replicate ordinary objects. In the words of Andrew Shtulman, Ph.D., “Children have the capacity to entertain novel possibilities but not the tools.”
Shtulman goes on to highlight the difference between an active imagination and an extraordinary one saying, “An extraordinary imagination requires knowledge: the examples, principles, and models learned from others. The more we know, the farther our imaginations can wander.” His conclusion?
“The key to expanding imagination, for people of all ages, is not forgetting what you know but learning something new.”
So what holds us back from realizing our dreams?
Understanding Dream Disappointment
Whether through career setbacks, burnout, or a unfulfilled aspirations that never panned out, dream disappointment is a universal experience. Here are three key factors that contribute to it.
#1 - A Lack of Curiosity
If the key to expanding imagination is learning something new, as Shtulman says, imagination is a skill we develop, not a trait we can lose.
Skills take practice. They aren’t developed by trying hard but by training hard.
How intentional are you about learning new things? Do you read books or listen to podcasts? Are you learning new things regularly? When was the last time you went deep into something?
It’s called combinatorial creativity, and it happens by combining existing ideas, knowledge, and experiences in new ways.
But even with curiosity, it’s still easy to misread dreams.
#2 - Dream Misinterpretation
Dreams can be vague and opaque, like seeing in a dimly lit mirror, even for futurists and visionaries. As Gandalf the wizard once said to Frodo Baggins, “Even the very wise cannot see all ends.”
Putting your own spin on a dream instead of walking it out and adapting as things change can lead to dream disappointment. Many dreams never came to pass…at least not in the way you envision them. This can lead to dream fatigue. When your version of the dream never happens, you become disillusioned and dreaming feels like a waste of time.
The journey from vision to reality often requires personal transformation.
#3 - The Path to Dream Fulfillment
Dream fatigue is when we become so disappointed by dreams that have not happened yet, that we no longer want to dream.
But what if the primary purpose of dreams is to shape us into the person we need to become to handle the dream and not just the dream itself?
Consider Joseph's journey. The privileged youngest son in a prominent family, his father favored him—the only one of eleven brothers given a beautiful coat of many colors. Around thirteen years old, he had two prophetic dreams: first, eleven sheaves of grain (representing his brothers) bowed to his bundle. In the second dream, the sun, moon, and eleven stars (representing his parents and brothers) bowed before him. His already jealous brothers now hated him.
The path to fulfillment wasn't a straight line. His brothers sold him into slavery. He rose to prominence in his master's house but was falsely accused by his master's wife. He spent two years in prison until his gift for interpreting dreams was discovered. When Pharaoh had dreams no one could interpret, Joseph was called. After successfully interpreting them, he was instantly released and made second-in-command of Egypt. The dreams finally came true when his family came seeking food during a famine, and they all bowed before him. (You can read the full story in Genesis chapter 37, and if you’ve never watched the Disney movie, Joseph King of Dreams it’s well worth the ninety minutes).
It took thirteen years before Joseph saw his dreams fulfilled—and certainly not in the way he had imagined. The lesson?
Joseph needed to become the right person before he could handle the dream.
Your Path Forward
You can't control the outcome (or dream), but you can control how you respond to things and who you become in the process.
I believe in both destiny (a pre-ordained path) and agency (the capacity to act or exert power), but whether you believe in destiny or not, the person you are becoming is in your hands.
As Barbara Corcoran discovered, maybe your 'failed' dreams aren't really failures—they're stepping stones to personal growth. The question isn't whether your dreams will come true exactly as planned, but who you're becoming as you pursue them.
What one step could you take today to grow into the person your dreams require you to become?
Choose one area where you feel stuck in your dreams and commit to learning something new about it this week - whether through reading, conversation, or direct experience.
Until next time,
PS - Great writing takes time. Buy Me a Coffee so I can keep creating.
Sources
Andrew Shtulman, Ph.D., “Imagination Is a Skill We Develop, Not a Trait We Lose.”
